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it's been forever [29 May 2005|06:47pm] i've gotten really sick of these internet high speed monstrosities 3 dictators the more guns i got the better

[03 May 2005|06:16pm] oh my god i've gone crazy, or maybe i'm in the painfully slow process of frying my sanity into infintessimal bits. town signs should say "turn the fuck around, you don't want to be here." home life sucks so bad that everything else in life sucks just as much as homelife plus one more suck. my dad is doing another one of those, "if i kill your sister now i won't have to deal with her fuck ups ever again," rants, little does he know that i plan on killing him first. And then my constant k i'll call it (like any mathematical equation with a constant,) the constant that looms in the depths of my grey mind, school. after i leave school a week early, i go to another 6 weeks of school in providence. what is this life where we fucking rack our brains for knowledge. fuck me, fuck, fuck, school was just made so the white man could feel more superior. the more guns i got the better

i want to start writing more but my writing is always ranting about lost love... [24 Apr 2005|10:56pm] rambling is my most comfortable form of speech, stuttering comes naturally to me. solace comes from conversations that go on and on interjected with the occasional thought that actually makes sense. i guess i've come to terms with my anxiety, and through a period of self medication, followed by a period of just waking up, my fear of public speaking has succomb to 'not giving a fuck.' i think i'm your average hopeless romantic, but i like to believe i have more of a grasp on my emotions than the next person. i'm one of those people who adheres to the "everything happens for a reason" philosophy, but it goes against all my beliefs and ethics to base my life around a philosophy that places so much hope in a higher power, which i for the most part believe is a hoax. i'm just one big walking hypocrisy, in every sense of the word. sometimes i think humans have been placed in this dome (aka the universe) that is controlled by aliens (who are outside the dome), and with the help of the government, they conduct experiments to try and achieve some sort of results, even though i have no idea what those results would prove or reinforce. results: humans are so self-absorbed they can't fathom a world outside of their own that functions with a higher intelligency (results pertaining mostly to the robber barons of this capitalistic, shot to shit, american society). i think of wierd shit. i'm convinced i have a brain tumor and the doctors are going to tell me i'll be dead in 5 months. 5 months just seemed like an appropriate amount of time before a brain tumor would kill someone off, and also giving me a sufficient period to do all those last minute things that i deem important. i've already accepted every insult that could come my way (i've been to hell and back again with the ex), i'm not ashamed. i always say 'fight the real enemy.' i know my real enemy--me. if my life is going to get fucked up, it'll happen on my own terms. as for martha stewart, 'that bitch just be crazy.' 2 dictators the more guns i got the better

big post [23 Apr 2005|11:44pm] ( wow ) 5 dictators the more guns i got the better

[13 Mar 2005|11:09pm] ( art crap ) 3 dictators the more guns i got the better

[26 Feb 2005|11:51am] home, vomit, drugs, starvation the more guns i got the better

[15 Feb 2005|03:18pm] ( me and tracey, what WHAT ) 5 dictators the more guns i got the better

There's a sperm on my rasta gummy worm [13 Feb 2005|04:40pm] ( christine had to tell me how to spell worm ) 1 dictator the more guns i got the better

HAIRCUT [12 Feb 2005|06:39pm] [ mood | awake ] GOD the news makes me so angry. Some dumb fuck news reporter just issued a warning to all Gay Men that there is a new string of AID's circulating thru new york city. As if gay men are the only people on the planet who contract aids. 4 dictators the more guns i got the better

[08 Feb 2005|08:18pm] [ mood | my hands smell fishy ] batteries, screws, cigarette butts, and an anchovie tin can, all make for an interesting physical painting. 4 dictators the more guns i got the better

[06 Feb 2005|01:46pm] [ mood | not motivated ] I am still here as i was, all my life, since august, october, now february. New medium is added, old paint doesn't chip away. It was ugly before, it's no prettier now. It will be white when i'm gone; that is the color choose. 2 dictators the more guns i got the better

[30 Jan 2005|03:23pm] i got crazy drunk last night. 2 dictators the more guns i got the better

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